The Apostle Paul said, “Join together in following my example, brothers and sisters, and just as you have us as a model, keep your eyes on those who live as we do” (Phil. 3:17). Can you say that in light of how you communicate with others?
Obviously leaders need “soundness of speech” in their teaching (Titus 2:7-8) but also in more informal communication as well. That’s where we truly see whether our example is worth following.
What Constitutes an Example Worth Following in How we Communicate
After Paul told people to join together in following his example in Philippians 3:17, he continued on with a description of those who contradict that example. He said, “Many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is set on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven. …” (Phil. 3:18-20)
These are people who live out of their old sin nature. They approach life, even the way they communicate, from an earthly perspective. To be an example worthy of following, we must communicate from our position in Christ. Who we are and what we have in Christ should drive the way we speak as we live in accordance with our new nature. It’s about maintaining Christ-like communication. Elsewhere Paul said, “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” (1 Cor. 11:1)
A Communication Model Patterned After Christ
Ephesians 4 points that new nature patterned after Christ referencing “the way of life you learned when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” (Eph. 4:21-24)
Paul goes on to say, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (Eph. 4:29) — When we communicate from out of our new nature in Christ, we will say only that which is wholesome and helpful. It will not be unwholesome as in off-color joking, negativity, gossip, etc. Nor will be destructive, tearing people down rather than building them up.
It’s communication devoid of “bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice” (Eph. 4:31). Rather, we speak with kindness and compassion, willing to forgive “just as in Christ God forgave you” (Eph. 4:32).
Result of Communication That Doesn’t Stem from Our New Nature in Christ
Obviously communication driven by our old sinful self will hurt people targeted by our unkind or condemning words. It can destroy relationships, even divide a church. Ultimately it also affects our testimony to the world around us.
When we communicate with any kind of malice, we also grieve the Holy Spirit (Eph. 4:30) who lives within Christ followers. God gave us the Spirit so we can rise above our natural tendencies and become more and more Christ-like (2 Cor. 3:18). When we fail to submit to and pull on the Spirit’s power, it hurts His heart because His main job is to magnify Christ (Jn. 16:13-15).
For More, Go To: Effective Christ-like Communication Skills Resources
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