We can read books about conflict management. We can get professional counseling to help us learn how to deal with our anger, hurt, resentment, and a host of other emotions that flare up from conflict. But, our best source for rising above conflict is following God’s Word.
Why God’s Word Helps Us Rise Above Conflict
God’s Word is inspired by the One who created us and knows us better than we even know ourselves (Ps. 139:1-18). Consequently, Scripture “penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart” (Heb. 4:12).
Through His Word, God breaks through with the understanding we need not only about the situation but also our own thoughts and attitudes about it that keep us stewing in the conflict.
But, God doesn’t stop at opening our eyes to the reality of the situation, He uses Scripture to teach, rebuke, correct and train us in righteousness (2 Tim. 3:16). Rising above conflict isn’t merely about making us feel better but making us be better.
What God’s Word Teaches About Conflict Management
Here just four biblical mandates that, when applied, will enable us to rise above conflict rather than be part of the problem.
Be proactive. (Matt. 5:23-24)
Don’t wait for the offended person to come to you. The verses referenced above apply to when the other person perceives an offense even when you don’t see it that way. Seek reconciliation before it escalates. Get in front of problems, before the person has chance to keep mulling it over or gossip about it.
Be a peace-maker. (Rom. 12:16-21; Eph. 4:3)
Take every possible measure to bring about a peaceful resolution. In Ephesians 4:2 God exhorts us to “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” If the situation doesn’t change, you must know, before God, that you did your part in pursuing peace.
Be process-oriented. (Matt. 18:15-17)
Understand that it is not just about confronting or “fixing” a problem. Encourage people to work it out among themselves before you get involved. True reconciliation … the healing of the relationship … is the primary objective, not resolving the issues. People do not have to always agree or like something but they must still accept one another in order to be in fellowship.
Be a paraclete. (Phil. 4:2-3)
Come alongside of others in the body and help them to work out their differences. Don’t wait for their problems to spill over into the body. This includes praying that the Paraclete with a capital P, the Holy Spirit, does His work in their hearts but also to get involved in practical ways, exhorting and counseling them to work out their differences. Before you get involved, however, be sure to apply Matthew 7:5 to your own life — “first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”
As leaders, apply God’s Word in dealing with conflict, as a example for the Body. And, encourage people to approach conflict through the lens of Scripture so they too can rise above it.
All Posts about Conflict Management:
- Reason Conflict Management is an Important Skill for Leaders
- Not All Conflict is Bad
- A Litmus Test for Church Conflict
- Body Life Can Prevent Conflict
- Body Life Can Resolve Conflict
- Body Life Takes Responsibility in Conflict
- Conflict Hinders Fulfillment of the Great Commission
- The Right Mindset in Conflict
- The Right Reactions in Conflict
- Power of God Needed to Rise Above in Conflict
- To Rise Above Conflict, Go Back to the Gospel
- To Rise Above Conflict, Pray with the Right Motives
- To Rise Above Conflict, Rely on God’s Grace
- To Rise Above Conflict, Pull on People’s Spiritual Gifts
- To Rise Above Conflict, Follow God’s Word
- To Rise Above Conflict, Remember Who’s the Real Enemy
- Motivation to Rise Above Conflict
- Perspective and Power to Rise Above Conflict
Thanks so much for talking about conflict. I think this is VERY important especially within the Body of Christ! If we do not have the tools and resources needed to help and exemplify what conflict resolution looks like then church leaders are left to handle situations and conflict how “they” see fit.
You are welcome, Tania. When we handle situations and conflict how we see fit, it’s very subjective and can change with our mood. It might appear to be right in the moment but in the end often leads to destruction (Prov. 14:12). Praise God we have a Text, His Word, that provides a consistent and higher way of handling things. We can count on His ways, as described in Scripture, to be the best ways. — “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isa. 55:9)