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To Rise Above Conflict, Rely on God’s Grace

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What do we do when we can’t agree with one another? What do we do when someone’s being antagonistic? What do we do with the hurt of someone’s betrayal or harsh words? What do we do with our disappointment or frustration over someone’s choices? — We could retaliate. We could engage in a heated debate or quarrel. We could pretend everything is okay while inwardly seething. Or, we could rise above conflict by relying on God’s grace.

Reflect on the “the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus” (Eph. 2:7). Think of the difference grace, expressed in kindness, would make in relational discord.

Problem in Conflict is Not a Lack of Grace

Since God’s kindness is intended to lead us to repentance (Rom. 2:4), then certainly approaching conflict in and with His grace, has the potential of helping us hurdle offenses and extend forgiveness and patience with one another. It will enable us to turn from our stubbornness and need to be right to seeking reconciliation and peace instead (Heb. 12:14). When we fail to fall back on God’s grace, we open the door to bitterness and trouble (Heb. 12:15).

Rely on God's Grace - It's Amazing
There’s no comparison to the provision of God’s grace. Note the description in Ephesians 2:7 of “the incomparable riches of his grace” and then note that it is “out of his fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given” (Jn. 1:16). The supply of God’s grace will never run out, no matter how often we keep turning to Him for “grace to help us in our time of need” (Heb. 4:16).

Problem in Conflict is that We Don’t Rely on and Access His Grace

We access God’s grace through humility and faith.

In humility (James 4:6) we’re saying, “It’s not about me but you, Lord.” — In conflict, then, we no longer refuse to budge because of pride or moral superiority.

With faith (Rom. 5:2), we’re saying, “I can’t but you can, Lord.” — In conflict, then, we realize it isn’t our job to “fix” it but His.

From a place of humility and faith, we’re ready to clothe ourselves with all the qualities of goodness that emulate God’s grace.

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (Col. 3:12-13)

We clothe ourselves with these qualities by …

standing firm in His grace (1 Pet. 5:12)

Just as we’re saved by grace (Eph. 2:8-9), we also walk by grace (Col. 2:6). So, in dealing with conflict, we can’t ignore His grace and expect to demonstrate the qualities in Colossians 3:12-13 for it is His grace that “teaches us to say ‘No’ to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives” (Titus 2:11-12).

growing in grace (2 Pet. 3:18)

Because we’re human, we’ll never fully grasp the “incomparable riches of his grace” (Eph. 2:7). Just when we think we have conflict management mastered, something else will surface taking us to a whole other dimension of our need for grace upon grace (Jn. 1:16). As the Apostle Paul said, let’s press on (keep growing) and not think that we have arrived (Phil. 3:12).

relying on grace (2 Cor. 1:12)

When we rely “not on worldly wisdom but on God’s grace”, we’ll approach conflict situations “with integrity and godly sincerity” (2 Cor. 12:9). We’ll rise above the bitterness and bickering and “make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy” (Heb. 12:14-15). We know that we can trust God’s grace to be sufficient in all situations (2 Cor. 12:9).

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